FIFA 15 Mega Guide: Ultimate Team, Tips, Tricks, Earn Gold Coins Faster & Best Players


@Yorumi is absolutely right.

This limit is horrible, disgusting, pathetic, incredibly stupid, utterly unnecessary, absolutely nonsensical, unjustifiably insulting and perfectly representative about everything that is wrong with Nintendo as a company, and the #1 indication as to how perfectly incompetent and disrespectful to their consumers they truly are. And how incompetent they think their consumers are. ...which, judging by the more disturbingly cultist, over-justifying, denial-stricken comments here, I would almost think Nintendo might just have something with that general assessment.


As far as i'm concerned, what's even worse than the inclusion of this ridiculously nonsensical limit are the even more nonsensical and brainwashed justifications from the kool-aid drinking Nintendo cult fanboys in this comment section and other places for the fact that Nintendo is not only treating you like you are a remedial toddler, or the fact that you're perfectly happy with being treated like a remedial toddler, and that you APPRECIATE the insult.

Seriously. They are figuratively shoving crap in your face here for no good reason, telling you to eat it, you do so and are actually saying "Thank you sir, may I have another", while saying "What's your problem??" to everyone who is looking at you funny. I... don't even, people. I don't even.

I just love how the INSANE justifications are ranging to everything from the typical "wah wah you're a crybaby, it doesn't bother ME", to "uhh.. no, no guys it's totally ok that Nintedno treats us all like a bunch of stupid 5-year olds because... we ARE stupid 5 year olds, guys. Having more than a few options is SOOO confusing. I mean I can't even figure out how to set the time on a watch, let alone figure out what to do with my life if I had MORE THAN 10 BUTTONS TO PRESS." ...said with the creepy smiling of a Stepford Wife the whole time.

Like, really people? Really? ....really? That's the kinds of justifications you're going with? Either the Nintendo Fanboy equivalent of "If u dun leik 'murica u can jes get owwwwt!!" and "Oh it's true, we are so borderline retarded that we can't be trusted to be given more credit to operate anything more involved than a Fisher-Price playpen."



SO, ok, no. There are many problems with this. MANY. PROBLEMS. And i'm going to illuminate them all right now, so this discussion ends, once and for all.

So, imagine that you are given a rudimentary board game that isn't very taxing or challenging to learn, based on it's clean, easy to grasp interface just by looking it over. Now imagine that you are given a set of instructions. NOW, imagine that this board game is checkers.

So, if you had never played checkers a day in your life, a game that an 8-year could easily learn in 10 minutes if he was so inclined. You take the board out of the package and you look at all of the checker pieces. Red and Black pieces. A red and black checkerboard. Now imagine that you go to look up the instructions to see how the game is played.....

The instruction book has a SINGLE SENTENCE UNCOVERED that reads "Take the pieces out of the box" and the ENTIRE REST of the small pamphlet is blotted out by THICK, BLACK MARKER over all the words that render the instructions, what little there are, unreadable.

At the bottom there is an asterisk and a small instruction along with a bottle of solvent that reads "5 minutes after removing the contents, take a brush and wipe the solvent over the next two sentences of the instructions ONLY." So you do.

The next two sentences are now readable. And they say "place the red checkers on one side of the board. Now wait one entire day to brush the solvent over the next two sentence of these instructions."

This is... incredibly stupid and immensely counter-productive, but you decide to be a complete idiot today and follow these instructions. After all, you must take it slow so you do not hurt yourself.

24 hours later, you return to the board with the red checker pieces and the instructions that clearly think you are an idiot with all this time on your hands to play checkers for the first time. You uncover the next two sentences as if you are deciphering the Voynich Manuscript or carefully doing advanced calculus. They read "Place the black checker pieces on the opposite side of the board for the other player. Now please wait 24 hours to brush the solvent on the next two sentences."

You suppress a groan of immense frustration, before remembering that these checker instructions apparently think you must major in a 4 year course of how not to run with scissors before you can be trusted with them, and therefore labor under the continued delusion that you have absolutely nothing better to do within a 48 hour span of time than learn how to set up a checker board one f---ing step at a time, one entire f---king day at a time.

You come BACK to the board after 24 more hours, provided that you haven't managed to choke in a combination of your own saliva and rainwater staring up at rainclouds for an extended amount of time, and process enough long-term memory to remember what the board is, why it's there, or what you were trying to do yesterday.

You wipe two more sentences away with the solvent to unblock the highly top secret for-your-eyes-only papers that instruct you on the over-complicated task of learning the basic board set up for a game of goddamn checkers, and are greeted with "Players take turn moving a pieces diagonally on the board, to jump the opponents pieces. Please refer to the enclosed 3-hour audio book that explains how this is accomplished and wait 24 more hours before proceeding to uncover the next two sentences"

24 hours later, the next step tells you how to jump. 24 more hours later, the next step details what a "jump" is. 24 hours later, you are instructed how to "double jump". And so on with the concept of kinging. And so on. And so on.

9 days later, you have now learned how to play checkers. And you have now done so over the course of this incredibly overly long period of time, in the single most time-wasting, brain-dead, simperingly aggravating, nonsensical, convoluted, idiotically unnecessary way imaginable. ...and you think this is not only perfectly ok, and sensible but even PROUD of doing it this way.

....no. Just... no.

just no.

You think this makes you right and justifies the utterly STUPID process, all because the checkers instructions did not think you were capable of reading more than two sentences PER DAY, NOR comprehending them, unless the process was dragged out to the insufferably, unjustifiably insulting length of the tiniest nugget of basic information possible, after a period of 24 HOURS, each and every time... AND YOU AGREE BY THE END, that you WERE this stupid, and therefore.... NEEDED IT.

And it accomplished this by DEMANDING that you use blotted out instructions printed on half a page, and uncovering every sentence ON this NONSENSICAL time limit of one per 24 HOURS by uncovering each two sentences METHODICALLY using solvent to REVEAL EACH SENTENCE.....

WHEN YOU COULD JUST UNCOVER ALL OF THE SENTENCES, SPEND A GRAND TOTAL OF 10 MINUTES TO READ THESE INSTRUCTIONS IN ORDER AND CONTEMPLATE THE SIMPLE TASK OF LEARNING THE MOST BASIC RULES OF CHECKERS. It could take you 10 minutes. 10 minutes of 2nd grader comprehension skills, but you happily, and willingly, went along with these incoherently arbitrary limits demanded of you for NO EXPLAINABLE OR JUSTIFIABLE REASON OVER A PERIOD OF NINE........ LONG..... DAYS...... with a FRIGGIN' BOTTLE OF SOLVENT ON SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS WRITTEN WITH SIMPLE STEPS..... Because it asked you to.

And you think you had to. And you enjoyed this. And you were completely ok with this. ...AND you appreciated it.

...because apparently this is what the level of human beings has come down to. We've come down to the level of being taught a task through methods over a period of 9 days that even a chimpanzee would find insulting, when the most he is asked to do is walk over and grab a banana on a string. I doubt it would take a chimpanzee 9 days to figure out a process akin to this, but you people are so certain in the fact that, if you were NOT taught in this method, you never would have been able to figure the process out through any amount of stimulus, internal OR external unless 9 days was taken dragging the process out for no explainable reason whatsoever, other than the fact that you think you couldn't manage that level of banality, unless you were guided to do it in this exact manner.

And that you're grateful for it and that you're honestly justifying THIS with the argument that sounds basically like you're saying:

"anyone who thinks they're smarter than a chimpanzee needs to get over themselves, because nine days to figure out what buttons do instead of actually just HITTING those buttons or being trusted to do it themselves, is just being a whiner. I'll gladly have crap shoved into my face, have over a week straight of my time wasted for no reason at all, and be treated like a sub-human and love it, Anyone who wouldn't is a being a crybaby, right? I mean come on, right? What a bunch of whiners. OH NO WHERE IS MY BANANA MUST TAKE 9 DAYS TO FIND BANANA I AM SO GOOD AND BETTER CUZ I AM NINTENDO FAN I THEY THINK I AM STUPID SO I AM STUPID OOH OOH EEE EE AHH AHH"

But yeah. That's your justification, eh? THAT's your self-righteous shutdown to EVERYONE who dare complain, huh? That's what you think makes you people better than me. That's what puts people like me below people like you? Because you're so deathly afraid of your own infinite ignorance, and such things like the ability to find out what buttons actually do in a level editor by hitting those buttons which scare you to death to the point that you need a 9-day warming up period on how to use Super Mario Maker or else you'd pee yourself?

Yeah, it's not that i'm "whining". It's that you're all stupid. Impossibly stupid. Irredeemably stupid. And you're deathly afraid of that ignorance to the point that you'd just hold it up as a shield to deflect your stupidity back on everyone else who is actually daring to have the gall to say that they think they should have been trusted not to have to wait 9 days to figure out tasks that a chimpanzee at worst, or a second grader at best could learn through trial and error in less than 10 minutes.

Or that it's somehow a COMPLETELY ALIEN CONCEPT to think that ANY OF US just miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight be a teensy bit.. ABOVE THAT LEVEL, and thus feel insulted that NINTENDO THINKS ANYONE IS. Or that even despite that they think this, that somehow locking it behind a NINE DAMN DAY WALL, is, in ANY CONCEIVABLE WAY conducive to a learning curve, that again, a small child could discover in 10 minutes without having the method or the instructions forcibly locked off for them. And that the idea that this could be considered to be somehow insulting, is somehow ALIEN to you.

But no. Somehow, It's my problem. Somehow, It's my fault. Somehow this is MY failing... that I have a discernible IQ. It's my fault that i'm not below the development potential of a very dumb primate. It's my fault that over an ENTIRE week of a forced insult for a game I will have paid FULL PRICE FOR to TAKE HOME AND PLAY is being locked off because Nintendo thinks that I am literally retarded and treats me as such. OH, OK THEN.

And apparently is it entirely my fault, and it makes me a whiner that I carry the burden of graduating to the level of functional human being with the potential to discover trial and error in less than 10 minutes, ALL BECAUSE FROM THE SOUND OF IT, SO MANY OF YOU ARE LEGITIMATELY PROUD THAT YOU ARE NOT. And it makes it all ok.

Because oh, Nintendo, thy be my lord and savior. Thy Nintendo are the ultimate in the universe, they do nothing wrong. They are the vessel and I am their stupid monkey.

Am I a good little Nintendo cultist yet? Am I good enough to deserve the blessing of Super Mario Maker and their 9-day limit from the game's basic features? Am I humble enough for their almighty divinity yet? Because apparently i'm not allowed to EVER criticize the great and glorious Nintendo for their asinine, insultingly stupid crap that assumes I am as stupid as all their own brainwashed masses are humbled to think they are, in order to deserve their insulting condescension without question, or at least without being told by kool-aid drinking chimps that it's my fault for having a brain and that Nintendo's arrogance in being treated like I don't is MY fault for being too smart. And by "Smart", i'm not even saying it has to pass a mensa requirement. I mean just being able to wake up in the morning without forgetting how to breathe until 9 days pass.

Again, i'm compelled to ask.... REALLY??? That's the qualification of being a good Nintendo fan? That's the qualification for "deserving" Super Mario Maker? That's the qualification for being able to discern for myself how to learn what a button does or how to follow a basic interface without 9-day training wheels? And THAT'S the qualification for not being told that the problem is somehow mine for not being as stupid as all of you both think you are, and ACTUALLY seem to be?

Yeah, no.

Nintendo's incompetence, arrogance, failure at recognizing this kind of crap for what it is and for being entirely their problem is NOT my fault. It's their fault. And it's all of your faults for continuing to put up with it, having their crap shoveled in your mouth with a smile and washing it down with your kool-aid while telling everyone else to be quiet and shun all the non-believers and heretics in your little club.

But just keep telling yourselves that. Keep putting up with their incompetence and their disrespect of you as consumers over and over again. Keep it up. Keep making stupid excuses for your just rewards. I'm sure they'll forcefeed you their holy White Tanooki Suit sooner or later., if you keep trying too hard. Then you can live forever, be invincible and think you're never wrong.

Or at least you'll think that.

You always think that.

You're wrong. All of you. Deluded. And very stupid, too. And you don't have the right to get offended by me calling you stupid, either. Apparently you admit it yourself.

Or is it just that you think that after 9 days you'll have learned enough to be on the same level? ....I wouldn't count on that, guys. I just wouldn't. Word to the wise. From me to all of you.

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Source : http://www.nintendolife.com/news/2015/08/nintendos_awesome_super_mario_maker_overview_announces_new_features

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