Two Sentence Holiday Fiction: Amazing Short Short Stories From Amazing Writers

There’s been a lot of talk that we are finally getting “The Expendables of Horror” with the upcoming release of >

Death House

starring Kane Hodder, Barbara Crampton, Dee Wallace, Tony Todd, Bill Moseley, Adrienne Barbeau, Michael Berryman, Felissa Rose, Gunnar Hansen, Cortney Palm, Lloyd Kaufman, Camille Keaton, R.A. Mihailoff, and Sid Haig.

That’s one hell of a line-up, for sure. But I’ve always wondered why everyone wants “The Expendables of Horror” when we already got it – three times over (and the fourth coming tomorrow) – with Adam Green’s >Hatchet

series.

From beginning to bloody end, Adam Green’s slasher series has boasted the best of the best in horror cinema. And today we want to honor that by pointing out the killer cast of >Hatchet

,> Hatchet II

, and >Hatchet III

.

Below you’ll find categories for Killers, (Scream) Queens, (Genre) Classics, and fun cameos. It’s a blast playing I Spy with the Hatchet series so try it with your friends at home. No using this guide as a cheat sheet.

Now let’s get to it!

***

KILLERS

As many classic character actors as there are throughout Adam Green’s original Hatchet trilogy, no other category is quite as impressive as the list of “Killers” Green assembled over the course of the first three films. Let’s take a look at each of them one by one.

Kane Hodder (“Victor Crowley”)

First, we have Kane Hodder (Victor Crowley) who has starred in countless horror flicks, but will forever be known as Jason Voorhees in Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Jason Goes to Hell, and Jason X.

But on top of that, Hodder is an extremely well-known stuntman and stunt coordinator. And you can find him as an actor in such fright flicks as House II: The Second Story, House IV, Prison, Ghoulies Go to College (true story), Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings, Wishmaster, Monster, 2001 Maniacs, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, Ed Gein: The Butcher of Plainfield, B.T.K., “Fear Clinic”, Frozen, Exit 33, Exit to Hell, Muck, and even plays himself in Adam Green’s Digging Up the Marrow.

Special Note: Make sure to check out the documentary >To Hell and Back: The Kane Hodder Story

when it hits via Dread Central Presents this July!

Robert Englund (“Sampson” – Hatchet)

Robert Englund is a man who needs no introduction. But for the sake of argument, let’s give him one anyhow. Englund is most famous for portraying Freddy Krueger throughout the entire A Nightmare on Elm Street series – other than the 2010 remake. On top of that Englund has starred in such genre offerings as Eaten Alive, The Phantom of the Opera, The Mangler, Wishmaster, Strangeland, Urban Legend, 2001 Maniacs, and, of course, Hatchet. That’d be an impressive list WITHOUT Freddy on his resume.

Tony Todd (“Reverend Zombie” – Hatchet, Hatchet II)

Tony Todd is a man who will forever be known as Daniel Robitaille aka The Candyman from, duh, Candyman, Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh, and Candyman: Day of the Dead. But in addition to that prestigious title, Todd has also starred in such genre offerings as The Crow, “The X-Files”, Wishmaster, the Final Destination franchise, and “Dead of Summer”.

Derek Mears (“Hawes” – Hatchet III)

Derek Mears is yet another genre icon that I’m sure is a horror household name by this point. After all, the man did a bang-up job as Jason Voorhees in the 2009 reboot, earning a special place in all of our horror hearts. But the man has also starred in horror offerings like Cursed, “Masters of Horror: Pro-Life”, The Hills Have Eyes II, Predators, The Aggression Scale, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead, Freaks of Nature, I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore, and a role in David Lynch’s revival of “Twin Peaks.”

Sid Haig (“Abbott MacMullen” – Hatchet III)

As strange as it may sound, Sid Haig has been in hundreds of films since the dawn of time (it seems) but he will always be known for his more recent efforts, mainly his work as Captain Spaulding in Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects. But on top of those films, Haig has also starred in horror classics such as Bone Tomahawk, The Lords of Salem, Creature, Halloween, Night of the Living Dead 3D, and even bit parts in Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill: Vol. 2 and Jackie Brown.

R.A. Mihailoff (“Trent” – Hatchet II)

R.A. Mihailoff is an actor best known for starring as our man with the chainsaw Leatherface in the underappreciated 1993 classic Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III. But the big man also has plenty of other genre efforts under his huge belt such as Slasher.com, Krampus: The Devil Returns, Horrorween, Smothered, Dark House, and Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings.

***

QUEENS

I’m thinking everyone knew what I meant by the word “Queens” in the title. I’m 95% sure, at least. But just in case there is one dude out there expecting some kind of entry he just isn’t gonna get, what I mean by “Queens” is, of course, “Scream Queens”.

Moving on. Like the other subphylums in this article, Adam Green’s Hatchet series boasts a ton of the most lovable Scream Queens to ever grace the screen.

We have Danielle Harris, Caroline Williams, and Fellisa Rose to name a few. Extra points go to Green for casting “the mean girl from camp” in Addams Family Values in the original Hatchet as the blonde pornstar chick, Misty. Her real name is Mercedes McNab, by the way. That always made me chuckle.

But now on to the Queens!

Danielle Harris (“Marybeth” – Hatchet II, Hatchet III)

While Danielle Harris’ role as Marybeth in Adam Green’s Hatchet II and Hatchet III is close to being the role the scream queen is best known for, that claim, at the time, still resided with her history within the Halloween series.

From starring as Jamie Lloyd in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers and its direct sequel Halloween 5: Revenge of Michael Myers to her role as updated Annie Brackett in Rob Zombie’s Halloween and Halloween II, Harris is no stranger to the genre.

But add in such efforts as Urban Legend, The Black Waters of Echo’s Pond, Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet, “Fear Clinic”, Stake Land, Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2, See No Evil 2, Havenhurst, and Inoperable – on top of directing the horror-comedy Among Friends – and Harris is scream queen royalty through and through.

Caroline Williams (“Amanda” – Hatchet III)

Williams is someone you recognize from her famous role as Stretch in Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. But in addition to that classic role, Williams has starred in Stepfather II, Leprechaun 3, Contracted, Seed 2, Tales of Halloween, the upcoming remake of Blood Feast, and a blink-and-you’ll-miss-her cameo in Rob Zombie’s Halloween II. Gotta love Caroline Williams!

Diane Ayala Goldner (“Elbert” – Hatchet III)

Diane Ayala Goldner is an actress you might not recognize – but you totally do. Goldner is famous for not only starring in her husband John Gulager’s Feast, Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds, and Feast 3: The Happy Finish, but she also starred in the third season of “Project Greenlight” that showcased the making of the original Feast film.

But on top of that, Goldner has also shown up in films like Pulse 2, Pulse 3, The Collector, and, like Caroline Williams mentioned above, a blink-and-you’ll-miss-her cameo in Rob Zombie’s Halloween II. Let’s see Diane Ayala Goldner in more films, people!

Tiffany Shepis (“Casey” – Victor Crowley)

Okay, so I tried not to include any actors/actresses from Victor Crowley, but 1) everyone knows and loves Tiffany Shepis and 2) if you’ve seen the trailer for the fourth entry, you know she’s in the film. So let’s move on.

Shepis is best known for starring in basically every single horror movie for the past 10 years. Not kidding. Here are (some) of her genre efforts: Night of the Demons (2009), Tales of Halloween, Sharknado 2: The Second One, Hallows’ Eve, Chainsaw Cheerleaders, Home Sick, Abominable, and Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp. Again, just to name a few.

Felissa Rose (“Kathleen” – Victor Crowley)

Okay, so just one more scream queen from the upcoming Victor Crowley. Ah, Felissa Rose from the classic 80’s slasher film Sleepaway Camp. Ask any horror fan to name their top 5 scream queens and I bet Rose ends up on the list. Every time.

On top of Sleepaway Camp, Rose has also starred in Tales of Halloween, Camp Dread, Aliens vs. A-holes, Dahmer vs. Gacy, Silent Night, Zombie Night, Caesar and Otto’s Summer Camp Massacre, Psycho Sleepover, and more!

***

CLASSICS

What do we mean by “Classics”, you may ask. Well by that title we mean actors we have come to know and love from many a favorite fright flick. There isn’t currently a solid word for the “Final Guy” or the “Final Boy” or whatever, and truthfully it wouldn’t have mattered much to me anyhow as this list’s title truly sings with the Classics bit in there. And that’s good enough for me.

All internal blah, blah, blah out of the way, let’s take a look at some of the classic horror movie actors from Adam Green’s Hatchet series. They weren’t Killers. They weren’t (Scream) Queens. And they sure didn’t have Cameos. Here are the Classics, folks.

Joshua Leonard (“Ainsley” – Hatchet)

Joshua Leonard is a man we all know for starring as “Josh” in the found footage classic The Blair Witch Project. But he has also had parts in films such as Prom Night (2008), Shark Night 3D, Steven Soderbergh’s upcoming Unsane, and TV shows such as “True Detective” and “Bates Motel.” And in a fun bit of trivia, he voiced Tyler Durden in the “Fight Club” video game.

AJ Bowen (“Layton” – Hatchet II)

AJ Bowen is a man who seems to be in every other horror movie these days. Not that we’re complaining. I personally love AJ Bowen and think he adds a bit of class to every film he has even a bit part in. While he’s probably best known for his roles in Adam Wingard’s A Horrible Way to Die and You’re Next, he can also be seen in Creepshow 3, The Signal, The House of the Devil, Chillerama, Among Friends, The Sacrament, The Guest, and the upcoming Applecart co-starring Barbara Crampton. More AJ Bowen, please.

Zach Galligan (“Sheriff Fowler” – Hatchet III)

Zach Galligan will forever and always be known for playing “Billy” in Joe Dante’s creature-feature classic Gremlins and its fun as fuck sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. But on top of starring in those family classics, Galligan has had parts in The Psychic, a killer episode of “Tales from the Crypt” called “Strung Along”, and let’s not forget my personal favorite, the cult classic Waxwork from director Anthony Hickox and its sequels.

Chase Williamson (“Alex” – Victor Crowley)

Chase Williamson is a relatively new classic of our beloved genre. In the past few years he had his stand-out role in John Dies at the End but has also had parts in such films as The Guest, Lace Crater, Beyond the Gates, SiREN, and Camera Obscura, along with the upcoming flicks Bad Match, the abovementioned Applecart with AJ Bowen and Barbara Crampton, and Gram Skipper’s Sequence Break. Looks like we’ll be seeing more and more of Chase Williamson in the next few years. And that sounds good to us.

Tom Holland (“Uncle Bob” – Hatchet II)

No, not >that Tom Holland

. The Tom Holland that is most famous as the director of such classic horror films as Child’s Play, Fright Night, multiple episodes of “Tales from the Crypt”, The Langoliers, Thinner, and the upcoming Rock, Paper, Dead. And on top of that, he is also known as an actor for not only Hatchet II but Psycho II, The Stand, and even plays himself in Adam Green’s Digging Up the Marrow.

John Carl Buechler (“Jack Cracker” – Hatchet, Hatchet II)

John Carl Buechler is probably best known as the director of such films as Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood, Troll, Ghoulies Go to College, and Cellar Dweller. But I’d say the man is much more famous as a make-up effects artist on films such as Ghoulies, TerrorVision, Crawlspace, From Beyond, Dolls, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, Prison, A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, Ghoulies II, Bride of Re-Animator, the original Hatchet, and literally dozens more. The man is a true legend!

***

CAMEOS

I’m going to go ahead and wrap up this last piece. After all, most of the following cameos all take place in a single scene towards the middle of Hatchet II. You know the one. Tony Todd’s “Reverend Zombie” has amassed a group of hunters (rednecks) to bounty hunt the legendary Victor Crowley. Most turn away the offer. Some stay. Mostly every single hunter (redneck) that leaves is a cameo.

See pic below:

This includes directors Mike Mendez (Big Ass Spider), Marcus Dunstan (The Collector), Lloyd Kaufman (The Toxic Avenger), and our main man himself, Mr. Steve “Uncle Creepy” Barton. On top of that single scene from Hatchet II, the trilogy has so many cameos that I’m sure even I missed half of them – but I don’t count crew members. Other than directors such as Hatchet‘s own Adam Green, who shows up in Hatchet, Hatchet II, and Hatchet III, and Joe Lynch (Wrong Turn 2), who gets it good in the second entry.

FINAL NOTES: Frozen star Emma Bell has a TV News cameo in Hatchet II, and there are a few cameos I’ve left out for fear of spoilers. Also, I’ve heard that We Are Still Here writer-director Ted Geoghegan is in Hatchet III, but I didn’t spot him in my weekend rewatch. Is he there? Can someone point him out to me? Thanks!

***

And that is our cheat sheet for all of the killers, queens, classics, and cameos hidden within Adam Green’s Hatchet trilogy. More are sure to join the list once the fourth entry, >Victor Crowley

, hits Blu-ray February 6th so make sure to check it out and spy all the hidden gems ASAP!

What did you think of our cheat sheet? How many did we miss? Let us know below!

>BUY IT HERE!

Synopsis:

In 2007, over forty people were brutally torn to pieces in Louisiana’s Honey Island Swamp. Over the past decade, lone survivor Andrew Yong’s claims that local legend Victor Crowley was responsible for the horrific massacre have been met with great controversy; but when a twist of fate puts him back at the scene of the tragedy, Crowley is mistakenly resurrected and Yong must face the bloodthirsty ghost from his past.


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