When You Leave The Internet, Do You Die?

First, to my very good friend Paul: I thank you for the consideration offered my way. Also,I think everyone who ever will post or read anything on this site should commend Paul. He has been vigillant on this whole ordeal concerning Angela and in my opinion has been earnest and non-pretentious. If at any time he has been overly dramatic in his assesments and opinions, it’s only because he cares deeply for one Angela Devi. In my opinion, he has been valiantly noble.

To this very night, (literally), it was 4 years ago that I first became aware of one Angela Devi. To the poster(s) above, who seem to insinutate that anyone who was or is still talking of her is some kind of freak, I ask that you be not so sure of what you hath spoken. The fact of the matter is, that for a representable few of her fans, we are not pathetic, porn monsters of any sense. If anyone knows anything about what a Minimum Spanning Tree is, that person realizes we are all at most 8 persons removed from each other, or so as the argument goes. To suggest as you have, that one only could have discovered Ms. Dhingra because of a porn addiction is just wrong. I certainly 4 years ago didn’t set out that night looking for a Porn Star. I came across her because one site, lead to a second and then to a third, maybe a fourth … and after a click on her very cute picture.. for me, the rest was history. I understand your point, but please understand the point I’m making for more than just a few other guys out there.

Looking back on my affection for Angela makes me understand how the London crowd must have felt when Jimi Hendrix arrived in London 40 years ago this current year. For before I clicked on Angela’s picture four years ago tonight, I couldn’t have imagined anyone quite like her. I considered Porn Stars that were on the Internet as something less than desirable, much less think about.

But I think it a strong testament to Angela herself that I did seek her Internet presence. How could I not? It’s a very personal thing to say here, but I was overwhelmed by her. Within 2 weeks of my noticing here, I was completely numb about her; I couldn’t think straight. I was falling in love. Yes, I know exactly what I just wrote … I’m not delusional. Furthermore, I conjecture that there were and are a few people out there who are not comfortable with what I just wrote. To them I ask why it is that they would seem so threatened by my warmest regards and affections? Truth be told, if I ever had the chance to have met Angela I would have hid my head in the sand, and if I had dared to summmon the courage to speak to her I would have been so bashful. I would have melted.

I had a long running concern over Angela’s well-being. Porn seems to be a likely candidate to have a darker side; so from a far distance I was always hoping that she was doing fine. As Paul mentioned, I was devastated when I like all others heard of Angela’s alleged passing. In fact, I remember one particular night, mid-April 2006, when one poster on another site made a comment that seemed to solidify that Angela had really passed away. I walked over to a closet area, held a pillow to my mouth and just screamed in horror, tears and all. Sure enough, I was overwhelmed in the couple of months following her passing. I knew then, that this was for this man’s life a true tragedy and would forever more hurt. It was not surely the way life is supposed to be. Angela’s lifetime as an Internet Model was finite for sure, but we had all expected the ending to be celebrated with news of her obtaining her Accounting degree, soon to be married etc, etc … you all know what I mean.

Tonight as I was out with friends, I thought about Angela a few moments, much as I do everyday of my life. I thought about how special she was … so cute, evervescent, intelligent, warm, affectionate. I also thought about the pain that I always feel when I think of her. On how it hurts to know that she is no longer with everyone, whether it be in her closest circle of friends and confidants or in the way she participated with those of us on the Internet. On how when any given day starts, it is not complete without her being part of it. On the pain she must have felt all the way up to the point of her decision to leave it all.

As these thoughts raced through my mind, I thought of the friends I was out with tonight and others. As I did a month or two after Angela’s passing, I renewed a pledge to be the best friend I can to those who are close to me. Before, I didn’t take anything for granted, but without doubt going forward I will always pay special attention to my friends and their concerns. In this man’s lifetime, I feel like I lost someone very special in Angela. Most assuredly, I don’t want to loose another person who is very important to me. Once is one to many ….

If, as the posters say above, Angela is alive then I like Paul, wish her the very best obviously. Somehow, my gut instinct tells me this is not the case. However, if it is, then at least she should know that many of her fans out there truly care about her, and to use a worn out phrase, think she is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

I now will lay this man’ head down to sleep. About this time to the hr. 4 years ago, I remember doing much the same thing; in fact, I remember thinking to myself that I had realized that I had jut come across someone very special.

Now 4 years later almost to within a few minutes, I realize something that I supposed back then but now I can most assuredly say with no equivocation for the rest of this man’s life:

I love you Angela!! And God how I (we) miss you!! God bless you Angela … how we miss your smile!!

Source : http://blogcritics.org/when-you-leave-the-internet-do/

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